I’m going to kill that guy.

I’m going to kill that guy.

I’m going to kill that guy. No seriously, he needs to die. I am going to do it. All by myself. I don’t need any help. I don’t need a training manual or tips and tricks for murder. I don’t need to practice. I don’t need to train. I’m just going to kill that guy.


I just need to figure out how I want to do it. Part of me thinks it should be fast. I do it, it’s done and everyone can move on, except for that guy. He won’t be moving anywhere. Or there’s the long and painful way. It takes hours and he really feels it. I’m feeling less confident about option two. He’s really busy and if he’s gone too long people will notice. But, I really need to kill that guy.


I could stage a an accidental death. I don’t really need to be the one who removes his life force. What if he just fell down some stairs? That works because if there is enough stairs he will die. If there isn’t enough stairs he will just be badly hurt, but I could still hope for some internal bleeding? Man that would be great. People probably wouldn’t believe it, he’s a very good dancer and light on his feet. People wonder about foul play.  But, I would still need to kill that guy.


Maybe I should just choke the guy out. Like really get in there with all ten digits and let him have it. But what if his neck is too big for my fingers? If I can’t get good leverage I won’t be able to kill him. He won’t die and I’ll feel bad. This is a lose for both of us. Stabbing is something I should think about. It’s a sure fire way to kill someone. You just aim that saber right for the heart is on your right side…his right? My right? I need to check. But, I bet if I just hit him in the chest it would take him out. Although, if I remember him correctly he does look like he works out, he talks about crossfit all the time. He talks about flipping car tires, jumping over parking meters and something to do medicine ball. Ugh! I hate when he talks about that stuff, makes me want to kill him!


I know how I can end his life. I’ll poison his protein shake. He’s always going on and on about how good he feels post workout when he gets his almond milk, goji berry, kale infused, coconut water laced, whey upper shake. I could slip in a little poison and no one would be the wiser. He’s always going on about how it’s all organic, “only natural things pass these lips,” everyone’s eyes roll and it just makes me want to stab him in the throat.


What if I killed him with a boat? Can he swim? No that won’t work he was first team all american swimmer and was an alternate on the olympic team. I really need to kill this guy.

I need to kill this guy, because if I see another picture of him on facebook accomplishing something, I’m going to kill myself.


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